


cues

by andnowforyaya



Series: keep going, ten! [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Falling In Love, M/M, hencas side couple, kinda domestic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andnowforyaya/pseuds/andnowforyaya
Summary: Ten looked at Kun and found him staring at him with a small, slightly mischievous smile over his lips. He loved the way that, no matter how big or small Kun’s smile was, his dimples created adorable crescents in his cheeks. “What?” Ten whispered.Kun shook his head. He was a little glassy-eyed from the drinks. “Nothing,” he said, and Ten wondered if Kun could tell that sometimes when Ten looked at Kun, the rest of the world fell away for him, too.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Series: keep going, ten! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852300
Comments: 46
Kudos: 356





	cues

**Author's Note:**

> quick note: ten is sex-positive. there's nothing very smutty in the story but they do talk about it.

Ten could feel his social battery on its way to being completely depleted. Kun’s friends were super nice and all, but Ten had decided he would cut himself off after three drinks tonight, and he and Kun had already explored every inch of Doyoung and Taeyong’s new apartment (that they had been allowed to explore). The couple had moved in together three months ago and were just now throwing their housewarming party for their closest friends, and this was Ten’s first time meeting them all. He sat on the floor against the couch, between Kun’s knees, as the party grew more and more boisterous over his head and music played over the television’s speakers.

He liked sitting on the floor. The difference in levels gave him the ability to be an observer and not an active player in the volleying of conversation between friends Kun has known since college, and every once in a while Kun would card his fingers through Ten’s black hair and Ten would lean his head back and smile at him to show he was still here with him. 

Ten knew, however, that he couldn’t sit on the sidelines for long, and braced himself for the moment someone in the friend group would remember to engage him. He didn’t have to wait long, as Doyoung leapt at the chance when Kun got up to use the bathroom.

Ten remembered thinking Doyoung looked like the edge of a sharp knife when he opened the door to welcome them into the apartment. Sleek, honed. Kind of a tool. Doyoung leaned forward from his sunken spot in the adjacent loveseat and asked, “So has Kun tried to put you in a box and saw you in half yet?”

Johnny thwapped Doyoung gently on the back of the head and grinned when Doyoung glared at him. “That was one time in college.”

“And it haunts me to this day.”

“Did he really try to saw someone in half?” Ten asked, angling his body towards them. 

Donghyuck chimed in from Ten’s other side, immersed in his phone but smirking. “We were drunk, and Taeyong stopped him.” 

Doyoung reached over to tug his boyfriend’s shirt for his attention, and Taeyong turned away from where he was chatting with Jungwoo and Mark in front of the television to step up to Doyoung’s side, arm curving over Doyoung’s shoulders as he perched himself on the arm of the loveseat. “Yes? Did I hear you telling Ten about Kun’s brush with accidental murder?”

Ten’s eyes widened. “So it really happened?”

“ _Please_ stop telling that story, guys,” Kun said from the bathroom door. “It was a butter knife and someone’s arm.” He wound his way back to the couch and stepped over Johnny’s knees to reach his spot in the very middle behind Ten.

“Yeah, _my_ arm!” Doyoung insisted.

“You volunteered!” Kun countered. “To catch Taeyong’s attention, by the way. You’re welcome.”

“So _you’re_ the one responsible for getting them together.” Ten clucked his tongue in mock disappointment and both Johnny and Donghyuck laughed at the looks on all of their faces.

“I knew I’d like you,” Johnny said warmly. “I’m gonna grab another beer. Anyone want?” There was a chorus of yes’s, and then Johnny was pushing himself off the couch cushion and heading into the kitchen.

“I’ll come with you,” Ten said, standing and wincing slightly at the twinge in his knees from moving after sitting like that for so long. He was eager for a chance to get away from the group and be sort of by himself, even if it was just for a minute. Kun laced their fingers together briefly and shared a look of understanding with him, and the affection in Ten’s heart for Kun swelled like a hot air balloon. Not thinking anything of it, he leaned over to drop a kiss to the crown of Kun’s head before walking away.

And wanted to melt into the ground at the wolf whistles that followed. 

Johnny chuckled as they rounded the corner into the tight kitchen space with Ten following close behind, his face burning. “Don’t let them get to you. We’re just all excited to meet you. Jaehyun was so bummed he couldn’t make it tonight. Kun talks about you a lot.” 

“Yeah?” Ten asked. Johnny opened the humming fridge and pulled out a couple of bottles of beer, handing them two at a time to Ten. “What does he say?”

“That he feels like he was always meant to meet you. That you’re easy to talk to. Cheesy stuff like that.” 

The door made a sucking noise as it closed, and the burn over Ten’s skin cooled to something much softer, more bearable. He smiled to himself as Johnny counted their eight beers between them before going to one of the drawers to look for a bottle opener. 

“Well, it’s the same for me,” Ten said quietly.

When they returned to the living room the conversation had shifted to the topic of how the remaining single friends -- Mark, Jungwoo, and Donghyuck -- were faring in the dating world. Ten squeezed onto the couch between Donghyuck and Kun, handing the beers out as he settled, while Donghyuck showed off the guy he’d just matched with on his dating app. 

“Isn’t he hot?” Donghyuck was saying. 

Some appreciative murmurs rose from the group. Jungwoo snatched up the phone from Donghyuck’s fingers and peered at it sideways with a gasp. “Is that the outline of his dick?!”

“Yeah, he’s huge.” Donghyuck cackled. Ten noticed the side-eye he gave to Mark.

“He’s gotta be packing,” Mark said, totally missing Donghyuck’s cue. “Gimme that.” He snatched the phone out of Jungwoo’s hand and sat on the arm of the couch beside Donghyuck, scrolling through the other pictures. “He’s got the dog picture, the guitar picture, the bathroom mirror selfie, and the picture with friends. He’s not tryna date, he’s tryna hookup.”

Ten caught the phone as it was tossed into his lap and glanced at the image on the screen. Objectively, the photo seemed to be of an attractive, muscled man lifting his shirt up to reveal his chiseled abs in the bathroom mirror. Brown hair, dark eyes, an impressive jawline. Someone Ten imagined Hendery would see in the dark lighting of a club and nudge Ten in the ribs to ogle at with him. 

“I know I’m dating Xuxi, but _damn_ ,” imaginary Hendery would probably say while licking his lips. 

And Ten would ask him something like, “If you were single, would you wanna hook up with him?” 

And Hendery would say, “Fuck, yeah,” and Ten would be left to ponder what it felt like to _want_ that on a night out, and with a stranger no less.

Ten examined the photo again and made a noise of appreciation before passing the phone over to Kun, who quickly gave it to Johnny.

“Who says that’s not what I’m _trying_ to do?” Donghyuck said with a smarmy grin.

“I thought you wanted to try…?” Jungwoo trailed off with uncertainty, looking to Taeyong for help, who asked, “What happened to ‘no more casual hookups’ Hyuck?”

Donghyuck crossed his arms sullenly and said, “ _That_ Hyuck got bored.” 

“He got ignored by the cute guy he likes,” Doyoung supplied. 

“I’m literally going to kill you,” Donghyuck said.

“Please don’t kill my boyfriend, because then I won’t be able to make rent,” Taeyong said.

“Glad to know I’m just your cash cow.” Doyoung raised his face to Taeyong and puckered up his lips, and Taeyong sweetly pressed his hand over Doyoung’s mouth. 

“My cash cow and so much more.” They giggled at each other, and Ten could see the moment the rest of the world just sort of fell away for them. The moment they told each other with their eyes and touches that they loved each other. 

Ten looked at Kun and found him staring at him with a small, slightly mischievous smile over his lips. He loved the way that, no matter how big or small Kun’s smile was, his dimples created adorable crescents in his cheeks. “What?” Ten whispered.

Kun shook his head. He was a little glassy-eyed from the drinks. “Nothing,” he said, and Ten wondered if Kun could tell that sometimes when Ten looked at Kun, the rest of the world fell away for him, too.

They'd been dating for three months, and usually by now Ten would have found some excuse, some reason, to call it quits. He'd never really been able to pinpoint what it was inside of him that made him so scared to commit, but maybe it had something to do with feeling like he was a square peg trying to fit into a circular hole in the board game of life. He'd never liked the idea of having to shave down his edges to fit. But with Kun, he kind of felt like they were building their own board.

He wondered if their board included sex. He wondered if Kun would get tired of being with him without it. The thought sobered Ten as much as a cup of water being thrown into his face.

"You getting sleepy?" Kun said so quietly he might have mouthed it. His arm came to settle around Ten's waist, to pull him closer. They were in the eye of a very small hurricane that was their friends bickering about the success rates of different dating apps.

"I'm okay," Ten mouthed back, leaning his cheek against the top cushion of the couch. Even as he denied his drowsiness, his eyelids were growing heavy. He stifled a yawn, and Kun chuckled under his breath.

"We'll go after I finish this drink, okay?"

"Okay," Ten said, heart flopping over gently. "Thanks, Kun."

Kun beamed at him. If Ten had been standing his knees would have gone wobbly. "I'm getting tired, too," Kun reasoned. "It's late, anyway, and even though I would carry you home, I don't actually want to."

.

Ten lounged on Kun’s bed as Kun finished drying and styling his hair in the bathroom, the door ajar, his shadow moving across the floor. Ever since Ten cut his hair short and dyed it back to black, it took him far less time than Kun to get ready in the mornings, because Kun really liked to primp and polish himself until he glowed. Ten didn’t mind waiting with the music on, scrolling through social media on his phone. He thought his boyfriend was beautiful just rolling out of bed with gunk in his eyes and a wrinkle in his cheek from the pillow, but Kun took pride in spending some amount of effort in his appearance, and the end result was usually spectacular.

Like this morning: Kun stepped out of the bathroom and his silver hair coiffed to perfection, his skin flawless and smooth. His thin, slightly smokey eyeliner brought out the brightness of his eyes. He was wearing a white tee that stretched across his chest and was loosely tucked into the front of his dark jeans. 

Ten, as usual in the cooler months, was drowning in a big black sweater and black skinnies, glasses perched on his nose.

“You look like James Dean,” Ten said.

“Yeah? Do I look sexy?” Kun asked, smirking as he twirled around once for Ten to appreciate.

“Like a pin-up.”

“I think I’d have to take my shirt off for that.”

Ten reached for him as Kun neared, as Kun stepped between Ten’s knees. He slipped his hands around Kun’s waist and then under his shirt at the small of his back. When Kun gasped at the contact, Ten snickered quietly, pressing a chaste kiss to Kun’s covered tummy. “It’s all the same to me.”

“Because I look good either way?” Kun asked, his voice low and husky.

“Either way, all the time,” Ten said. “No matter what.”

Ten felt Kun’s hands fall to his hair as he laid his cheek against the taut muscle of Kun’s stomach. His eyelids fluttered shut when Kun began to scratch his scalp lightly with his fingernails. A shiver ran down the length of Ten’s spine, and he shuddered against Kun. “That feels good.”

“I know, baby,” Kun said. 

Ten allowed himself to sag against Kun entirely, his arms draped in a loose circle just over the swell of Kun’s bottom. “Let’s skip brunch,” Ten suggested. “You can just give me a three-hour massage, instead.”

“Absolutely not! I spent like thirty minutes on my hair and makeup, and people other than you are going to see and appreciate it.” 

Still, Kun didn’t stop scratching lightly at Ten’s scalp, and even adjusted the spot when Ten tilted his head to the side so that Kun would scratch behind his ear. Ten pinched Kun’s ass in thanks, grinning when Kun yelped.

“You're a menace,” Kun said.

“But you love me anyway.”

“I do,” Kun sighed, his fingers pausing over Ten’s hair.

And Ten stilled on the peak of his breath, hovering, thinking, anticipating. Like gently easing the spine of a new book open for the first time.

.

Three hours later, bloated on too many mimosas and fancy potatoes fried in duck fat, Ten looped his elbow behind Hendery’s and hung back on the sidewalk with him while their boyfriends window-shopped ahead of them. The sun was bright and unhindered, but fall was in the crisp breeze that fluttered over their heads. Ten pillowed his cheek on Hendery’s shoulder with a whine as they strolled, and Hendery laughed, squeezing him closer.

“You’re so obvious,” Hendery teased.

“About what?”

“That you like Kun. You _would not_ stop staring at him all through brunch. So: obvious.”

“Is that a crime? He’s my boyfriend!”

“Did he drop the L word on you, or something?” Hendery asked, light and airy, skipping down the street. 

Ten’s feet stopped moving and Hendery reared back, making a noise like he was trying to bring a horse to heel. Ten _had_ found himself staring at Kun a lot throughout the meal, but that was because Kun looked so good today. And because Kun spoke so well, and told such interesting stories. And sometimes Kun would look back at him and smile and hold his hand over the table and Ten’s stomach would flip over in the very best way. 

“You could tell?” Ten squeaked. 

Hendery’s eyes slowly widened in delight, and a wide and uninhibited smile spread over his lips. He squeezed Ten’s bicep with his whole arm, drawing in a deep breath before excitedly exclaiming, “Wait, he said he loved you?! Was this the first time? What did you say back? Did you tell him you loved him back? Ten!”

“Hendery! Shut up!” Ten hissed, looking ahead at their boyfriends nervously. Kun and Lucas were both peering into the window of a bakery and pointing at the cakes within. Hopefully out of earshot. Ten dropped his voice to a whisper. “He didn’t really say it? So I didn’t really say it, either. But it was just one of those things where I was like, _haha I’m really annoying right? But you love me anyway_ ? And he was like, _haha you’re right_.”

Hendery’s lips twisted into a confused grimace. “Wait, he agreed you’re really annoying?”

“What? No!” Ten slapped Hendery’s arm lightly. “That he loves me despite that. Keep up.”

Hendery rolled his eyes. “Wow, you’re both so direct and able to communicate about your feelings with each other. That’s so great.”

“Shut up. When did Lucas tell you he loved you?” They started walking again, trailing behind Kun and Lucas, who had moved onto the thrift store beside the bakery. When they turned and gestured they were going inside, Hendery and Ten waved them along.

“Oh, Lucas told me he loved me after our second date,” Hendery said. “He feels incomplete if he doesn’t tell me he loves me at least three times a day.”

“Really?”

“One ‘I love you’ for each meal, yeah.”

“That’s sweet.”

“It is. He’s the best.”

There was a little bench outside of the thrift store beside the short rack of discounted shirts that were no longer in season—flimsy tanks, tiny shorts, swimsuits—and Ten dragged Hendery over to it so they could sit together while they waited for Kun and Lucas to come out. 

“I really like him,” Ten admitted with a sigh.

“Yeah, I know.” Hendery’s tone sounded the way a hug would feel, and then his arms were wrapped around Ten’s shoulders and he was saying, “He’s great, Ten.”

Maybe it was the alcohol still in his system that made Ten feel too much. Kun _was_ great. Like, the greatest person Ten had ever met. And for some reason Kun liked him, maybe even loved him! How did that make sense? That out of everyone on the entire planet, Kun was picking him? 

“Henny?”

Hendery hummed in acknowledgement.

Ten asked, “How...how often do you and Lucas have sex?”

“Uh…” Hendery pulled up from Ten and peered at him in confusion, holding him at arm’s length by his shoulders. “Excuse me?”

Ten felt his cheeks start to burn and pulled his hands into the sleeves of his sweater. “Sorry, never mind—”

“We used to go at it like rabbits but, uh, we’ve calmed down a bit. I would say, like, a healthy amount for us. Whatever that means. Why?” When Ten was quiet, crushing his bottom lip between his teeth, Hendery pulled him into another hug. Ten went limp against him, molding himself to Hendery’s affection. Hendery said, “Is this about you and Kun? Has he been...asking you?" His arms tightened suddenly, choking the breath out of Ten. "Or pressuring you?!”

Ten shook his head quickly. “No! No...and that’s the thing. He hasn’t been asking me. Isn’t that weird?”

“I don’t think that’s weird. I think he just respects you.” Hendery gave him another reassuring squeeze before letting him go. 

The phrase and sentiment buzzed over Ten’s head like a circle of vultures, and he sat with the discomfort in his belly until the door to the shop swung open, and Kun and Lucas walked out, a small paper bag in Kun’s hand.

“I got you something,” Kun announced excitedly, swinging the bag in the air before him as they approached the bench.

“You did?”

“Yeah, you wanna see it now or later?” Kun asked.

Ten grinned, discomfort forgotten in the face of Kun’s bright, endearing smile. “What? You didn’t have to get me anything—”

“I wanted to!” Kun said, bouncing on his toes. “So, now or later?”

“Now, then.”

Kun placed the bag in Ten’s lap, and Ten reached inside to pull out the small bundle wrapped in white tissue paper. The paper fell apart in his hands like petals pulled from a flower, and in the flower’s center sat a little black wallet covered in daisies. Simple and cute.

“It made me think of you,” Kun said with a little shrug while Ten turned the wallet over in between his fingers, admiring the zipper detailing.

“It’s cute! Where’s my present?” Hendery asked.

Lucas pointed a thumb at himself. “You’re looking at him.”

“Loser,” Hendery laughed, but he took Lucas’ hand as he rose. Together, they stumbled away from the storefront. 

“I love it. Thank you,” Ten whispered privately, shooting up a shy smile at Kun and holding his hand out for Kun to take. It was not so much the present itself that Ten loved as much as the idea that Kun thought about him when he wasn’t around. That things reminded Kun of him. That things reminded Kun so much of Ten that it drove Kun to action. Kun played with Ten’s fingers in both hands, flushing, looking entirely too pleased with himself. 

“C’mon, lovebirds!” Hendery shouted at them from down the block. Ten jumped in his seat and laughed when Kun held him against his side protectively, reflexively. “Let’s go!” 

.

By now, signs of cohabitation had surfaced in Kun’s apartment. The cup at the bathroom sink held two toothbrushes instead of one. Ten’s cardigans hung over the backs of chairs, and one of Ten’s lighter scarves was wedged into the corner of Kun’s couch, crumpled and forgotten. A sketchbook on the nightstand had a partner on the coffee table that laid atop a half-finished 1000-piece puzzle they’d been working on for a couple of weeks. Ten’s earrings and rings mingled with Kun’s in the tray he used to house his accessories. When Ten slept over, their laptops charged overnight on the couch, side by side.

Ten had slept over a lot. He’d gotten used to Kun’s bed (much harder than his own) and sharing space on a mattress with another human. And Kun’s cuddles were honestly the best. Ten always woke up safely nestled in the circle of Kun’s arms, his weight draped over him and grounding him, their ankles criss-crossing under the covers. 

This morning was no different. Ten hummed as the sun slanted into his eyes from the slit between Kun’s curtains and pulled Kun’s arms tighter around his body, mumbling nonsense that was incoherent even to himself. Kun mumbled nonsense back and rolled forward, budging up against Ten until only the thin fabric of their t-shirts and boxers were between them. 

Something hard pressed into the back of Ten’s thighs. 

“Kun,” Ten gasped, eyes flying open like he’d just been injected with pure caffeine. 

“Mm?” Kun breathed.

“Kun, is that your boner digging into my leg?”

“What?”

Ten craned his head to look behind his shoulder at Kun, who was blearily blinking himself awake, his hair looking like he’d just been whipped around in a blender. “Your boner,” Ten repeated graciously.

“Shit!” Kun cursed and shifted back from Ten as quickly as a hand from a hot stove. “Shit! I’m sorry! Oh my god, I’m so sorry—!”

It was a little mean, but Ten laughed. “Kun! Relax. I’m not gonna spontaneously die from touching a hard dick,” he said while turning to face Kun, who was bright red in the cheeks and staring down at himself in disappointment. “Aw, don’t make that face.”

Kun looked in the direction of the bathroom. “Just give me a minute and I’ll take care of it—” 

“What were you thinking about?” Ten asked. His breath suddenly caught in his lungs, and Kun paused, staring at him thoughtfully. 

“Well,” Kun said slowly. “Honestly? Pretty sure I was dreaming about you. Is that okay?”

Ten swallowed. So they were doing this. They were talking about this. Ten forced himself to breathe and nodded, because it was okay. It was okay because it was Kun, and he loved him. God, he really did. He needed to tell him that. 

“It doesn’t bother you?” 

Ten shook his head in response, and Kun’s expression shifted to something less embarrassed, more hopeful, then concerned. 

“I think you gotta give it to me verbally, baby, just to be sure.”

Now Ten flushed, his skin warming, his heart skipping in his chest, in his ears. “It doesn’t bother me because it’s you,” he said. “Because I love you.”

“Oh,” Kun breathed. “Oh, I love you, too.” His smile was like the sun finally cresting over the city’s horizon, light glittering off every surface. “Can I kiss you right now?”

“Yeah,” Ten said, nodding. Kun’s mouth was on his in the next breath, gentle and pressing and perfect. Soft and luscious. Ten allowed his eyelids to flutter closed and he floated on the sensation of being held, of being guided with Kun’s hands in Ten’s hair. He kissed back because he wanted to, and he chuckled at the spine-tingling rasp of Kun’s answering moan.

Kun’s boner dug into Ten’s thigh again. 

Kun froze and stuttered, “S-sorry! Let’s stop. Let’s stop, okay?” They did, chests heaving in sync, breaths mingling, and disappointment made Ten’s stomach churn. Kun looked conflicted, his eyes dark and his throat bobbing nervously. “You’re not kissing me because you feel like you have to kiss me, are you?”

Ten’s heart sank like a stone to the bottom of a lake. It wasn’t the question itself that hurt, but the sentiment behind it—that he didn’t have the agency to make his own decisions about his own body. He believed it was coming from a good place, though. Ten tried to focus on that thought.

“We’ve kissed before,” Ten said carefully. “I kiss you because I want to kiss you, Kun.”

Kun frowned. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to do or that you’re not comfortable with for me.”

“But sometimes I’ll want to,” Ten explained. “And that’s my choice to make.”

“But what does it feel like to you?” Kun asked, eyes focused and intent, like he was trying to see through Ten. “Kissing? Sex?”

Ten pushed himself back from Kun’s chest and curled his arms over his own middle. He was glad Kun was asking, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t exhausting and nerve-wracking to dredge up the words and feelings he needed to explain.

“Sorry, I’ve made you uncomfortable…”

“No. It’s okay. I’m just thinking about how to say it.” Ten pursed his lips, recalling his experiences in college, with dating. Some were good, most were bad, and some were downright horrible. “Sex feels like...like it’s not happening to me. Like I’m outside of my body, looking at myself, and I’m thinking about what to do next. It doesn’t make sense, and it doesn’t connect.”

“Does it hurt?”

Ten shrugged. “No, it’s just sort of...bland. And weird.”

“And you’re...okay with bland and weird? With me?”

“For the most part, I think so,” Ten said decisively.

“That is not super convincing,” Kun said slowly, sucking his lip between his teeth, “but I trust you and I trust that you’ll tell me what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

Ten felt his expression harden into something like determination, like confidence. “I will. Of course I will.”

Kun released his breath and the visible tension in his shoulders, which gave Ten unspoken permission to do the same. Relieved to have gotten _that_ over with, Ten pushed himself forward again and pressed his lips against Kun’s in a closed-mouth kiss. He felt his eyelashes brush over Kun's cheeks, felt his heart swell when Kun curved his palm over Ten's waist carefully, tenderly.

“Do you want to keep going?” Ten asked quietly, hope and love fluttering like a tiny bird cupped in the cage of his palms. 

“Whatever you want,” Kun said, taking the bird from his hands. “I’ll follow your cue.”

.

Ten remembered the suspended anticipation that came with the realization he was in love, like discovering a book with no title that he knew belonged to him. It was something that fit perfectly in his hands. The weight and feel, the thickness, the binding. He remembered running a finger down the book's spine before he cracked it open.

The story inside was his and Kun's, and the text had not been written yet. It was waiting for him to fill the pages.

.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please share your comments and kudos, thank you! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/andnowforyaya) | [my cc](http://curiouscat.me/andnowforyaya)


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